Ever been to a funeral before?

How do you feel when the epitaph of the deceased is being read? Do you get your own epiphany- that moment where you think of what you have done with your life, what positive difference you have made and who you have impacted either negatively or positively? Funerals are solemn and not exactly fun, but somehow they make us ask ourselves such difficult questions, they bring about a sudden desire to change behaviour, make us want to be better, to evaluate our relationships and they make us sober.

I get opportunities that make me wonder from time to time, how much of an impact I have made on anyone in my years of existence on earth and within all my spheres of engagement. The truth is I don’t quite know and I cannot speak so much for myself at this point. However, what I do know is those that have ‘deeply’ impacted me positively and bring out the best in me on a regular basis. For starters, these individuals show an interest in my success as their genuine interest in me spans my life goals, personal relationships, worldview, my way of thinking, career, health etc. And honestly, I strongly believe that God has a big part to play in me coming across these great influencers.

I decided to make a list of the traits these people have and I ended up with 6. Thinking about these traits now, I realise that although my influencers are all different in terms of their gender, race, cultural background, status and physical proximity to me in terms of location etc., they all possess these 6 traits. It is true after all, that birds of the same feather tend to flock together (or in my own case, nurture together). Check the list out and see if your influencers possess the same traits.

6 Habits Of The People That Bring Out The Best In You 

  1. Make you feel safe– I can write an entire post on this single trait because for me, this ranks as the most important. Although they are all highly opinionated people with a strong sense of what is right and wrong, they manage to make me feel safe to express my views, be open with them and be unreserved without the fear of being judged. There is a sense of goodwill from them towards me. I leave conversations feeling good about myself, even when I have flopped. They let me be, indulge, tolerate and show me how to be better. They are not biased, remain objective, which is why I keep going back to them. I feel comfortable opening up to them without feeling like I should earn their approval. I can also make mistakes without fearing that I will be belittled for it.
  2. Give constructive criticism, show you how to make improvements and support you in the process. How do you feel when someone gives you feedback but isn’t specific about what needs to be done? It’s like you are meant to be a mind reader and be able to grasp their concept, a concept that doesn’t exist. When someone gives you constructive feedback and it doesn’t feel like a toothache or tight shoe experience though, then you know they are doing it right. Why? They are clear about what is required, they provide the steps to take to rectify issues and support you in the process.
  3. Honest in their communications, about their own weaknesses and mistakes. I am drawn to the honesty trait, simply because it just makes an individual relatable and authentic. While they legitimately look like they have it all together from the outside, they disclose to me that they are lacking in certain areas and admit their failures to me. Such a breath of fresh air! And that is one of the many reasons I enjoy my time with these individuals because they are real, unpretentious and do not lead on. We learn from each other., they can relate to some of my challenges and approach it with some understanding while being honest in their solicited opinions without making me feel inadequate.
  4. Schedule time for you. When someone makes time for me, it shows they are interested in me and that they respect me. They are vested in seeing me succeed and achieving my goals. They might be busy, but they make space  for me in their busy schedule. Be it a phone call, a quick whatsapp chat or an email. They are genuine in their communications with me.
  5. Help you focus on your strengths. Because I am not encouraged to constantly berate myself, engaging with these people helps me focus on what I’m good at, my inherent skills and areas of strength, and they even draw my attention to hidden/latent skills I don’t realise I have.
  6. Challenge/introduce you to new ways of thinking. Either because of their exposure to various things/concepts/environments/personal perspectives OR their quest to do things in a better way, they are mostly in the know. And this knowledge they have rubs off on me, making me see the world from outside my box. I get challenged to challenge the norm, to evaluate both sides of an argument, to pick my battles wisely, not take everything personally but to not also take everything hook, line, and sinker.

Not everyone will have an impact on your life and you also won’t influence everyone you meet as this is unrealistic. It doesn’t mean certain people are bad, it just means they are not meant for you and vice – versa, but having that regular access to people that inspire you makes all the difference because being inspired to be the best we can be is crucial to our existence, otherwise why are we living?

Who influences and brings out the best in you, how do you do the same for others?

Wishing you a happy Easter celebration with your loved one. Thanks so much for stopping by today. Till we chat again, keep shining, share the blog with your awesome tribe and take care of yourself XOXOXO

Image: Pixabay

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